Someone please stop this! If you follow me on Twitter, you noticed I have been whining about this for a while. That’s because this meme has been #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for a historic 17 weeks. This is a thing that has gone on way too far. Multiple remixes have been going on and a lot of people giving there opinion on how this will keep going to the end of the world. This song should not be the last song you the human race, so before we hear an, “Old Town Road,” remix featuring Numan Cole, (First digital prophet from the year 1 million, follow him on Instagram @numancole, https://www.instagram.com/numancole/). CAN ANYONE SAVE US? Here are 5 potential, “Saviors,” that could knock off Lil Nas X, and prevent THE END OF THE WORLD! The following names are also why I’m high as Snoop Dogg in Amsterdam.
5. Taylor Swift
Yes, Taylor Swift. We need another one of your power hits that destroy your enemies. It destroyed Katy Perry, and it could destroy Lil Nas X! Please Taylor, do whatever you need to do, do another song about yourself, go through another personality change, if anybody can dethrone Lil Nas X it would be you.
4. Billie Eilish
Of course! Lil Nas X is a country rapper, why not an emo pop star!? Billie Eilish can save the day with her unique style of baggy clothes and soft lyrics. She doesn’t aim to be somebody, she wants to be her own………. body!(?). She is a truth speaker, can compare to a real audience, relate to people with depression, and she lives that vegan life, GOD BLESS! Let’s face it you will never dress like Lil Nas X, (Don’t f&%$ with me you won’t), it’s easier to look like Billie Eilish and with a remix with Justin Bieber, she’s closer than anyone! All we need is one more remix, c’mon Billie, make, “Bad Guy,” featuring Beyoncé happen, this is for human kind dammit!
3. Daddy Yankee
And no this is not because my head feels like if Arizona State and UC Santa Cruz had a party where Walter White produces meth, Daddy Yankee can save the entire world. For he does not have 1 hit song like Lil Nas X, he has…….. 2 hit songs. For nobody remembers the tale of, “Gasolina,” but everybody in the Generation of Z will tell there grandchildren of, “Despacito,” (Yes this is technically Luis Fonsi’s song, but who cares about the facts you f%$&ers). Daddy Yankee could today’s King Arthur, pull the sword out of the rock and sleigh the beast that is, “Old Town Road.”
2, Chance The Rapper
Or you know, someone with talent? You know, someone that actually treats there music and lyrics as an artform rather than a meme. Somebody with the most hyped album of the decade. Somebody that could find real features. C’mon we’ve been waiting for this for a long time, one his songs has to be #1 right?
1. Billy Ray Cyrus
Why didn’t we think of this before? It’s been right under our noses the entire time! Billy Ray Cyrus’s career could be revived because of this, and no I’m not saying this because I’m as high as when SpongeBob and Patrick were high on the orb of confusion.
This is a career renaissance for Billy Ray Cyrus. This song will do what his children never did. So f&$%, eat s%$t Noah, and Trace, Metro Station was awesome please come back, because Billy Ray Cyrus is restoring his, “Acky Breaky Heart,” and get out of that, “Old Town Road,” into the hearts of every piece of white trash, until he gets a #1. I went way too far with this joke didn’t I.
It’s been a year right? So throughout the years we can easily forget everyone we used to love. Nostalgia hits you hard and then you remember the songs of your youth. Then you listen to a song that you supposedly like, then you forget who sings it. Let’s go over 10 of those:
10. Ryan Cabrera
There was not a time, where girls would not stop talking about him. So Ryan Cabrera was in the band Rubix Groove, before making his solo debut independent album, “Elm. St.” “Take it All the Way,” was obviously his biggest album hitting #8 on the Billboard 200, went Double Platinum and featuring, “On the Way Down,” which peaked at #15 on the Billboard Hot 100, then followed by, “True,” and, “40 Kinds of Sadness.” He was in plenty of relationships including, Ashlee Simpson, which you’ll see on the Ashlee Simpson Show, Audrina Patridge, which you’ll see on The Hills, and one of The Veronicas, which no one ever cared about. In 2015 he formed Beyond the Sky, a musical conglomerate consisting of players, producers and vocalists from a multitude of genres, but there was really no word on his solo career……………….. Until one of my friends showed me this.
Holy crap, this si more 2000’s than that tour with B2K and Chingy! Is that Aaron Carter, oh we’ll get to him.
9. Roscoe Dash
It’s ironic in a way that this song has Soulja Boy, who should be forgotten. Roscoe Dash started rapping when he was only 12. Fame really didn’t hit him until, “All the Way Turnt Up,” not with Soulja Boy, but with Travis Porter. This obviously caused a lot of controversy, mostly because the song was mainly accredited as there’s. This was Roscoe Dash’s only hit, even though you might think, “Show Out,” was OK, but then you see him on Big Sean’s, “Marvin and Chardonnay,” and Waka Flocka Flame’s, “No Hands.” In 2012, he would be featured in XXL Freshmen Class, but as far as his musical career, all he’s doing making mixtapes and being confronted by Wale, Miguel, and Meek Mill on Twitter.
You know your music is dated when your iPod is stuck on replay. Iyaz had a very short time in the limelight. His debut album, “Replay,” in 2010 which received BPI Platinum with his three biggest songs, “Replay,” “Solo,” and, “Pretty Girls,” featuring fellow forgotten artist Travie McCoy. He would also be featured in other forgotten artists songs like Charice, New Boyz, and Mann, (Maybe it’s a good thing no one remembers him). He would make another album in 2015 called, “Aurora,” but the only song that’s somewhat halfway there to a hit was, “Alive,” featuring Nash Overstreet the lead vocals of forgotten band Hot Chelle Rae. It’s like Iyaz is accident prone!
7. Danity Kane
Since Making the Band is returning, we might as well try to remember one of the biggest things from the show that isn’t named Dylan. Danity Kane with members Audrey, Dawn, Shannon, Aundrea, and D.Woods formed on Making the Band 3. They came out with there self-named debut album under Bad Boy Records. This album would feature there first two hits, “Show Stopper,” and, “Ride for You.” There more successful album, “Welcome to the Doll House,” featured thre best song, “Damaged.” This group would become the first girl group in Billboard history to have there first two albums reach #1. They were good and could have been great, but unfortunately they never got along, and on Making the Band 4, Diddy got rid of Audrey and D. Woods. Ever since then they tried to bring back the band and released, “DK3,” featuring 3 members, Audrey, Dawn, and Shannon. This was OK, it had, “Lemonade,” and, “Rhythm of Love,” featuring Tyga, but it never had the success the older albums had. The most successful member seems to be DAWN who ended up being a part of Diddy-Dirty Money, (Should I just do another list like this next week?), and is currently having a great solo R&B career. Aubrey seemed to be the most popular member at the time. According to Variety, she says Making the Band still scars her to this day and had an intense relationship with Donald Trump Jr.. This seems to be the first time ever that Donald Trump Jr. is a downgrade from a Jersey Shore member, (Pauly D).
6. Aaron Carter
Aaron Carter was everybody from 7-13’s favorite artist, his self-named album sold a million copies, “Aaron’s Party, (Come Get It),” would sell three million albums, “On Aaron,” also went Platinum. There was not a TV show he wasn’t on, not a movie he didn’t appear in. Then for some reason, “Another Earthquake,” was the last album until 2016 with, “Love.” During this time he was going through a dark path, including getting caught multiple times with marijuana and owning millions to the IRS. He came out as bisexual, but took it back a year later saying that is was misconstrued and imagining being married to a woman and having kids. He would end up with candida and was found with a mixture of benzos and opiates. At a point he was malnourished and underweight at 115 pounds, he was then advised to go to rehab. He seems to be making a recovery at a healthier weight of 160 pounds and might be making a slight comeback.
This was a hard one, mostly because they were a band that made there debut in the 80’s and multiple hits. The band even though lasting over 40 years, were big in the 80’s with, “Kick,” being the best album featuring, “Need You Tonight,” “Never Tear Us Apart,” and, “New Sensation.” There albums from 1990 on, never reached the level the albums from the 80’s did. INXS would be nominated for multiple GRAMMYs and would win multiple VMA’s. They would always be famous in their native Australia, eventually being inducted into the Australian Recording Industry Association Hall of Fame in 2001. Why does nobody talk about this band? They were unique being recognized as a new wave/ska/pop/rock band. They sold 60 Million Albums worldwide, and, “New Sensation,” is a pretty recognizable song. No one ever talks about them. One of the mysteries of life.
4. Most of the American Idol Winners
Most American Idol winners for some reason, never end up as famous as the runner-up or in the case of Chris Daughtry, 5th place. Maybe it’s because the quality of the show was downgrading, maybe it’s because the judge changes. You figured after the move to ABC that the show would get better, but in the end like The Voice, you’re watching it for the big names are you? So let’s go over what’s happening to these winners except for Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Fantasia, and Jordin Sparks, because they seemed to have salvaged OK careers for themselves!
Ruben Studdard, (Season 2): Made his Broadway debut with Clay Aiken in the show, “Ruben & Clay’s First Annual Christmas Carol Family Fun Pageant Spectacular Reunion Show.”
Taylor Hicks, (Season 5): Debut his starting role of Charlie Anderson in the Serenbe Playhouse Production of, “Shenandoah.”
David Cook, (Season 7): Was in, “Kinky Boots,” but also is currently doing an acoustic tour and released a new single called, “Death of Me.”
Kris Allen, (Season 8): Was recently in the American Idol Live Tour while his recent release, “When All the Stars Have Died.” He also seems to be one of the best philanthropists the show ever had.
Lee DeWyze, (Season 9): His sixth studio album, “Paranoia,” was released on February 18th, 2016.
Scotty McCreery, (Season 10): “Five More Minutes,” became his first #1 single on the country singles charts.
Phillip Phillips, (Season 11): Headlined a tour in 2018 with Gavin DeGraw.
Candice Glover, (Season 12): Only album released was, “Music Speaks,” and will have a part as Tiana in, “GRITS: Girls Raised in the South.”
Caleb Johnson, (Season 13): Recently was a part of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra singing on, “Three Kings & I.”
Nick Fradiani, (Season 14): His only EP was, “Where We Left Off,” and even featured the lyric, “If you’re not tapping your foot along with him by about 12 seconds, I don’t know if there’s hope for you in the happiness department.”
Trent Harmon, (Season 15): Released, “You Got Em’ All,” in February 2018. He obviously got overlooked because this was the last season of the original run of the show.
Maddie Poppe: (Season 16): Appeared on the finale of Season 17 to advertise her album, “Whirlwind,” and the song, “Made You Miss,” would peak at #23 on the adult pop charts.
Laine Hardy, (Season 17): Too early to tell, but come on did you really remember who won last season, you were probably too busy trying to figure out who won on the latest season of The Voice.
3. The Third of Destiny’s Children
How do we have a blind eye for Michelle Williams? Michelle Williams was in one of the best girl groups in the history of time Destiny’s Child. Although they disbanded in 2006, Kelly Rowland managed to be a hit in the R&B, and Beyoncé………………. Well she’s F%^$ing Beyoncé. Although we often overlook when it comes to Michelle, she ended up being an important part of the Gospel, R&B scene. Michelle Williams has 4 studio albums to her name, including, “Heart to Yours,” which not only was her best album, she topped the US Gospel Chart and got her the MOBO Award for best Gospel Act. Most of her life has a singing/acting balance. In acting most of her roles were in Broadway including, “The Color Purple,” and, “Chicago,” and is currently playing Erzulie in, “Once Upon an Island.” Michelle Williams is also playing Diana Ross, (Who she is frequently compared to), in, “American Soul,” a BET series. As for her music career, she recently released the single, “Fearless,” in December, but that’s really it for now.
2. Gavin DeGraw
How did this happen? He used to be a lot of people’s favorite artist, now he’s one of your mom’s favorite artist like Jason Mraz and Daughtry. “Chariot,” featured three of his greatest hits, “I Don’t Want to Be,” “Chariot,” “and “Follow Through,” which gave him his only Platinum album in his entire career. But Gavin DeGraw, still remained a household name and still made hits such as, “in Love With a Girl,” which stuck to how good his first few hits were, and, “Not Over You,” which went more pop, but stayed with the relationship themes of his songs. It seems like every song he wrote was a love ballad of some sort. His last album was, “Something Worth Saving,” in 2016, but you can definitely hear him in your local workplace related radio station, (Mine is Lite 92.1), as well as an opening act for Billy Joel.
Before we move on, let’s look into next year! Who will be forgotten next year:
Anyone I mentioned that wasn’t on this list
Far East Movement
The collaboration of Shaggy and Sting
Lil Nas X once the remixes are done
This is gonna piss people off, but I stand by it! Ronnie James Dio took fellow Black Sabbath drummer Vinny Appice and made DIO, the most underrated band in the history of time. Come on people, there debut album, “Holy Diver,” contained two of the best songs of the 80’s, “Holy Diver,” and, “Rainbow in the Dark.” They continued to sell albums with, “Last in Line,” going Platinum and, “Sacred Heart,” going Gold. Then the later albums lost quality and Ronnie James Dio ended up doing a reunion with Black Sabbath, but in 2000, they came out with, “Magica,” which is probably one of the greatest comeback albums ever! This is a band that is timeless! There music is universal, and we should treat them as one of the best metal bands of all time, and they kept going until Ronnie James Dio’s death in 2012 of stomach cancer. The band made 10 albums, and will live forever!