Someone please stop this! If you follow me on Twitter, you noticed I have been whining about this for a while. That’s because this meme has been #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for a historic 17 weeks. This is a thing that has gone on way too far. Multiple remixes have been going on and a lot of people giving there opinion on how this will keep going to the end of the world. This song should not be the last song you the human race, so before we hear an, “Old Town Road,” remix featuring Numan Cole, (First digital prophet from the year 1 million, follow him on Instagram @numancole, https://www.instagram.com/numancole/). CAN ANYONE SAVE US? Here are 5 potential, “Saviors,” that could knock off Lil Nas X, and prevent THE END OF THE WORLD! The following names are also why I’m high as Snoop Dogg in Amsterdam.
5. Taylor Swift
Yes, Taylor Swift. We need another one of your power hits that destroy your enemies. It destroyed Katy Perry, and it could destroy Lil Nas X! Please Taylor, do whatever you need to do, do another song about yourself, go through another personality change, if anybody can dethrone Lil Nas X it would be you.
4. Billie Eilish
Of course! Lil Nas X is a country rapper, why not an emo pop star!? Billie Eilish can save the day with her unique style of baggy clothes and soft lyrics. She doesn’t aim to be somebody, she wants to be her own………. body!(?). She is a truth speaker, can compare to a real audience, relate to people with depression, and she lives that vegan life, GOD BLESS! Let’s face it you will never dress like Lil Nas X, (Don’t f&%$ with me you won’t), it’s easier to look like Billie Eilish and with a remix with Justin Bieber, she’s closer than anyone! All we need is one more remix, c’mon Billie, make, “Bad Guy,” featuring Beyoncé happen, this is for human kind dammit!
3. Daddy Yankee
And no this is not because my head feels like if Arizona State and UC Santa Cruz had a party where Walter White produces meth, Daddy Yankee can save the entire world. For he does not have 1 hit song like Lil Nas X, he has…….. 2 hit songs. For nobody remembers the tale of, “Gasolina,” but everybody in the Generation of Z will tell there grandchildren of, “Despacito,” (Yes this is technically Luis Fonsi’s song, but who cares about the facts you f%$&ers). Daddy Yankee could today’s King Arthur, pull the sword out of the rock and sleigh the beast that is, “Old Town Road.”
2, Chance The Rapper
Or you know, someone with talent? You know, someone that actually treats there music and lyrics as an artform rather than a meme. Somebody with the most hyped album of the decade. Somebody that could find real features. C’mon we’ve been waiting for this for a long time, one his songs has to be #1 right?
1. Billy Ray Cyrus
Why didn’t we think of this before? It’s been right under our noses the entire time! Billy Ray Cyrus’s career could be revived because of this, and no I’m not saying this because I’m as high as when SpongeBob and Patrick were high on the orb of confusion.
This is a career renaissance for Billy Ray Cyrus. This song will do what his children never did. So f&$%, eat s%$t Noah, and Trace, Metro Station was awesome please come back, because Billy Ray Cyrus is restoring his, “Acky Breaky Heart,” and get out of that, “Old Town Road,” into the hearts of every piece of white trash, until he gets a #1. I went way too far with this joke didn’t I.